


Kon-El's Unwitting Quest for Friendship

by MsMay



Series: My DCU [1]
Category: DCU
Genre: Clone Related Angst, Multi, Vaguely 90s Kon, friendship?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 14:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10115768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMay/pseuds/MsMay
Summary: Kon-El has been perfectly aware that Superman doesn’t want him from the second he comes out of his pod in Cadmus. But that doesn't mean that no one will ever want him. This is the story about how Kon-El found something to die for, and then, something to live for.





	

Kon-El has been perfectly aware that Superman doesn’t want him from the second he comes out of his pod in Cadmus. Even before the world learns that this new Kryptonian was brutal, uncaring, and anarchic, even before he sets fire to a city just to see one man burn, even before he leaves the Titans hanging, or drags Lex Luthor through the city streets by his ankle, like Achilles with Hector, Superman knows that Superboy isn't like him. Superboy never grew up on a farm, never grew up at all. As Superboy looks up at this person who is as close to a father as he’ll probably ever get, he feels . . . dull. Empty. Superman doesn’t want him. He doesn’t want a kid, especially not one like Kon-El. This is something Kon-El is sure of.

Lois tries to make it less weird. She lets him stay in their house, she feeds him, offers to take him shopping. She doesn’t make a fuss when he gets an undercut, when he blows what little money he has on a black leather jacket. She’s patient and firm, if a little distant and unsure. One day she walks into his room with a determined look on her face.

She says, “Connor,” like this is something she’s been thinking about for ages.

Kon-El leaves the next morning.

You see, Lois Lane’s kindness only makes things that much worse. Lois had just married Clark Kent. There is probably some part of her that can get used to the idea of having a child. But with every kindness she just draws painful attention to the fact that Superman isn’t there. To that fact that to Kon-El, Superman will only ever be Superman. Clark Kent, the normalized, sweater wearing, reporter with the goofy dad jokes, will forever be separated from Kon-El by the fact that Kon-El was not raised. Period.

So one morning he gets up and leaves for Hawaii, and he never writes her, or asks Superman how she’s doing on the rare occasions they run into each other, or listens when someone tries to talk about Lois Lane, but every once in a while he’ll pick up a newspaper and look for the article with her name underneath it. She’s a good writer, and even when she’s brutal, she’s generous to him. His time in Hawaii is messy, a convoluted mix of intentions and well-meaning people. Sometimes, when he doesn’t know what to do, he flies out over the mainland, and imagines what his life would have been like if he had been raised. If he had been born, like everyone else, if someone, or maybe no one, had watched him grow from a baby into the mess he is now.

And then by accident he stumbles into the Teen Titans.

Kon had heard about them before. Clark had suggested sending Kon to the Teen Titans when it was clear that he wasn’t a good fit for Smallville.

“It’ll be good for him to be around people who are like him, Lois.”

“He needs a family, Clark.”

“It’s not that simple-”

He had stopped listening after that.

Now Kon stumbles into the Titans while they’re trying to pin down a literal sentient cinderblock in a corn field for god knows what reason, and he takes a chance. He punches the literal sentient cinderblock so hard in the face that it goes down instantly. And the team is almost impressed. Except he continues to kick around the literal sentient cinderblock until a flying ginger with glowing green hands suplexes him into the aforementioned corn field.

“Who are you?” a bewildered kid in a stupid looking leotard and black mask asks.

“Who does it look like?” Kon gripes, struggling to his feet while the ginger continues to stare him down. He smiles at her and wolf-whistles.

“Well, hello to you too,” he says. She blinks like no one’s ever hit on her before. The kid in the leotard scowls.

“Superboy,” he says, as if something about the flirting gave it away. . . Okay well maybe that's fair, he didn't exactly have a spotless reputation in Hawaii. The others, an android, a green kid, and a girl in a dark blue cape circle him.

“Superboy?” The green boy’s eyes go wide. No one has ever called him Superboy before, but fuck it. Where’s the harm in a little irony?

So he hangs out with the Titans sometimes, because he’s starting to learn that where they go, trouble follows, and Kon-El is not Superman. He doesn’t fight crime because he wants to save people, he fights crime because he wanted to fight. Or at least, that's what he thinks he wants. The confusion between those two points is what caused him so much damn trouble in Hawaii. Regardless these little superheroes keep drawing supervillains out of the wood works, so if he comes to visit when his own superhero work gets annoying and complicated, it’s not like anyone can complain. He does his job. And if he is too brutal, too fearsome, too eager to hurt and not subdue, well they forgive him. It’s all a process, they say. Kon-El will just smile, and tell them to believe whatever they want to believe. On the inside, he's not so sure they're wrong, but he doesn't say that. He doesn't want to be superman, some cookie-cutter goodie, who only pretends to be good, and then can't show up when it matters. He'd rather pretend to be worse than he is.

But then the ginger with brutal strength, Starfire, starts to invite him to work out with her and Cyborg. They seem to think a little muscle training would be good for him. He almost accepts, except he’s already super strong, so what the hell does he need training for? Then Raven freaks out when he steals a piece of kryptonite from a DEO shipment to pierce his ear. Yeah, there’s a lot more blood than he expected and he does vomit, but it’s not big deal. Beastboy and Robin try to drag him into an argument about whether or not deep-dish is better than thin crust pizza. Kon like pineapple pizza, why bother with anything else? They both insist that he is banned from the tower for forever, effective immediately. It actually makes Kon laugh, when they try to push him out of the tower. And this is all fine, you know? Whatever, they get a little buddy-buddy but it’s not like he’s part of their team.

Except then they start to call him their ‘friend’ and Kon didn’t leave Lois’ house just to get dragged in by these others, so he goes back to Hawaii full time, and cuts them off completely.

Or, he tries to cut them off completely. Raven will send him a picture of something she thinks he’ll like every couple of months. Starfire texts him, and asks if he wants to spar or if he’s still working out (he is, actually). Cyborg and Beastboy invites him to movie nights. Robin invites him on patrols.

Then real villains come out of the woodworks, guys who gave Superman a run for his money. The stupid Titans let themselves get caught fighting wars that are bigger than they are. Superboy doesn’t want to run headlong into a war, especially one he shouldn’t be fighting in the first place. He really, really, doesn’t want to. Friendship has always seemed stupid, and tenuous to him. But he doesn’t want them to die, damn it, he doesn’t want them to die.

So he dies instead.

It’s a big, bloody, knockdown, kind of thing, that leaves even his skin battered. His body hits the ground, and for a while, he can’t get up. When the dust clears, there’s no body left at all. Cyborg will walk away a little more jaded than he walked in. Beastboy will make more jokes, to compensate. Starfire won’t be able to fly for a week. Raven will build a small shrine that she will use to keep track of his memory. Robin will be the one to call Lois and Clark and tell them.

Kon-El died.

That is the end of that.

Except . . .

Kon-El doesn't die.


End file.
